PARENTS, TEACHERS, SCHOOLS AND ORGANIZATIONS,
WE DON'T WANT TO LET IT GET THIS FAR!
Bullying-The Harsh Reality
A beautiful young girl gone to soon...
Megan tragically took her own life February 7, 2017, at the young age of 14, because she was being bullied in school and on social media. I had the opportunity to visit a local school recently and asked Megan's mom if there was any advice she could give to the children.
Here is what she had to say:
"If you could tell the children anything from me, it's the message of kindness. Some children have to endure horrible situations every day that they have no control over, but just one smile or kind word from somebody may make their day. A simple smile from you could mean the world to someone. Make them feel worthy. My faith in humanity was destroyed the night that my beautiful daughter took her own life, but slowly it's being restored by the wonderful words of kindness & empathy from people. Kindness doesn't cost anything, but to someone in despair it's priceless."
Click the link below to find out more about Megan and for additional resources and support.
http://www.megansstarrfoundation.co.uk/
God Bless Megan and her family.
Megan tragically took her own life February 7, 2017, at the young age of 14, because she was being bullied in school and on social media. I had the opportunity to visit a local school recently and asked Megan's mom if there was any advice she could give to the children.
Here is what she had to say:
"If you could tell the children anything from me, it's the message of kindness. Some children have to endure horrible situations every day that they have no control over, but just one smile or kind word from somebody may make their day. A simple smile from you could mean the world to someone. Make them feel worthy. My faith in humanity was destroyed the night that my beautiful daughter took her own life, but slowly it's being restored by the wonderful words of kindness & empathy from people. Kindness doesn't cost anything, but to someone in despair it's priceless."
Click the link below to find out more about Megan and for additional resources and support.
http://www.megansstarrfoundation.co.uk/
God Bless Megan and her family.
Bullying: Finding the core and a well defined solution
Once a child reaches Junior High or High School, without a strong foundation, confidence and support there is great potential that they will be a target for bullying. At this age it is not taking a toy or block, it is physical violence, tears, broken hearts, inability to learn and unfortunately suicide.
Our modern day environment provides additional outlets for bullying such as social bullying/cyber-bullying. This can drive a child to self medicate with drugs or prescription pills to alleviate the pain or slip into depression and thoughts of suicide. Most children will not share what is going on. They will usually bury it inside themselves and believe that it is theirs.
The root of the problem is not "bullying," it is how we learn and are taught to coexist as children. Therefore, we can stop bullying before it starts!
An understanding of the spiritual elements and defining where it starts
Bullying is one of the most important issues facing our schools today. There are many reasons for concern when it comes to bullying, but one we don't often talk about is what it does to our children's spirit and the long term effects it has on them.
Our aura is the energy field that protects and radiates from our spirit. Our spirit is how we know each other. We say, "she's a free spirit," or "what a great spirit that child has," but we never really stop to think about the "broken spirit".
Spiritually, we reference each other as "energy". When a child is insecure and projects this insecurity outward to a weaker recipient, the recipient will absorb the negative energy and take on the insecure child's problem as their own. For example, if "Charlie" (the bully) feels he has a big nose, he may approach a smaller child with glasses and call him a geek. Charlie takes everyone's attention away from his big nose because now he has taken a position of power. Most other children become fearful of this power and now project the negative energy toward the child wearing glasses. This child will now continue to carry the negative energy with him until there is a counter balance of positive healing energy.
Healing energy can come from parent/ teacher intervention, positive support from friends and peers, and counseling. On a close level it is very effective when we really listen with our hearts. Sending a feeling of a true connection of love to the child.
We also want to make sure that we work in a healing manner with the child who is sending the negative energy, and be mindful that there is always a root cause to their pain. Sometimes, getting to the core of the issue and addressing it can be tricky. Above all, nurturing this child is the most important thing we can do. If we heal the one child that is being picked on, but not the child that is bullying, the cycle will continue.
Every child needs to feel loved, understood, supported and cared for. Using the same tools and methods for the child being bullied as the one used for the "bully" is a great way to start to help heal this child and rebuild his/her self confidence. Closely encouraging and helping him/her connect with the other children will help to repair his/her aura and may give this child a foundation in school that he/she may not have elsewhere.
The children are the future of our spiritual nature, it is our responsibility to protect, educate, and comfort them.
Bullying Statistics:
Click here for more resources : http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/stats.asp
Prevention at School
Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.
Getting Started- Assess school prevention and intervention efforts around student behavior, including substance abuse and violence. You may be able to build upon them or integrate bullying prevention strategies. Many programs help address the same protective and risk factors that bullying programs do.
Build a Safe Environment- Establish a school culture of acceptance, tolerance and respect. Use staff meetings, assemblies, class and parent meetings, newsletters to families, the school website and the student handbook to establish a positive climate at school. Reinforce positive social interactions and inclusiveness.
Educate Students and School Staff -Build bullying prevention material into the curriculum and school activities. Train teachers and staff on the school’s rules and policies. Give them the skills to intervene consistently and appropriately.
Provided by The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
resource:stopbullying.gov
Bullying Solution-Confidence Building
PARENTING TIPS-Being the Example
When a child is confident they are much less likely to be a target for bullying. Sometimes, when our children come to us about an issue in school, as parents, we need to be their advocate and show them (not always tell them) what confidence looks like. They know that they have a situation and we represent them by going to the proper channels to find a solution (such as teachers, school administration or the other child's parents, if appropriate).
I personally was never an outward, overly confident, person or mother. It wasn't until my little one was getting tortured and bullied in school that I was forced to raise my voice. But once I did, trust me, when school associates saw me coming they were like "uh-oh" don't mess with that one! My daughter also saw that she was protected and more staff members were sure to be kinder and more supportive since I raised my voice to get help. In this situation, my daughter saw through my actions how to use the system and speak up until you get an answer that you feel comfortable with.
IT'S OKAY TO TELL!
Children should also be told that it is okay to tell even before anything happens. If we plant this seed very early on this little step can indirectly build their confidence. This simple knowledge gives them the power to share their feelings. The quicker they tell the better.
Here is a helpful link that includes some additional ideas for confidence building:
https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/12-ways-help-your-child-build-self-confidence
Strength in Numbers
When children stand up for one another when someone is being made fun of this cut the bullying out quicker than other methods. It also built a comradery among the children involved and a feeling of being safe. We can teach our children that it is okay to openly tell if they see someone being bullied or that they can speak up themselves. The more children who are openly against the bullying also helps the child who is bullying. They will become an outcast and will have to think about their behavior in order to be accepted among their peers.
Teaching our children to be kind
This is just simple. We want to build a better world for our children. Teaching them manners and kind ways to interact with others will eventually create a peaceful environment among all of us!
The Importance of Coming Together
Together, we can create a better world. Providing literature, tools, education, and support helps our children put a stop to bullying before it starts!
Our modern day environment provides additional outlets for bullying such as social bullying/cyber-bullying. This can drive a child to self medicate with drugs or prescription pills to alleviate the pain or slip into depression and thoughts of suicide. Most children will not share what is going on. They will usually bury it inside themselves and believe that it is theirs.
The root of the problem is not "bullying," it is how we learn and are taught to coexist as children. Therefore, we can stop bullying before it starts!
An understanding of the spiritual elements and defining where it starts
Bullying is one of the most important issues facing our schools today. There are many reasons for concern when it comes to bullying, but one we don't often talk about is what it does to our children's spirit and the long term effects it has on them.
Our aura is the energy field that protects and radiates from our spirit. Our spirit is how we know each other. We say, "she's a free spirit," or "what a great spirit that child has," but we never really stop to think about the "broken spirit".
Spiritually, we reference each other as "energy". When a child is insecure and projects this insecurity outward to a weaker recipient, the recipient will absorb the negative energy and take on the insecure child's problem as their own. For example, if "Charlie" (the bully) feels he has a big nose, he may approach a smaller child with glasses and call him a geek. Charlie takes everyone's attention away from his big nose because now he has taken a position of power. Most other children become fearful of this power and now project the negative energy toward the child wearing glasses. This child will now continue to carry the negative energy with him until there is a counter balance of positive healing energy.
Healing energy can come from parent/ teacher intervention, positive support from friends and peers, and counseling. On a close level it is very effective when we really listen with our hearts. Sending a feeling of a true connection of love to the child.
We also want to make sure that we work in a healing manner with the child who is sending the negative energy, and be mindful that there is always a root cause to their pain. Sometimes, getting to the core of the issue and addressing it can be tricky. Above all, nurturing this child is the most important thing we can do. If we heal the one child that is being picked on, but not the child that is bullying, the cycle will continue.
Every child needs to feel loved, understood, supported and cared for. Using the same tools and methods for the child being bullied as the one used for the "bully" is a great way to start to help heal this child and rebuild his/her self confidence. Closely encouraging and helping him/her connect with the other children will help to repair his/her aura and may give this child a foundation in school that he/she may not have elsewhere.
The children are the future of our spiritual nature, it is our responsibility to protect, educate, and comfort them.
Bullying Statistics:
- More than one out of every five (20.8%) students report being bullied (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- The federal government began collecting data on school bullying in 2005, when the prevalence of bullying was around 28 percent (U.S. Department of Education, 2015).
- Rates of bullying vary across studies (from 9% to 98%). A meta-analysis of 80 studies analyzing bullying involvement rates (for both bullying others and being bullied) for 12-18 year old students reported a mean prevalence rate of 35% for traditional bullying involvement and 15% for cyberbullying involvement (Modecki, Minchin, Harbaugh, Guerra, & Runions, 2014).
- 33% of students who reported being bullied at school indicated that they were bullied at least once or twice a month during the school year (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- Of those students who reported being bullied, 13% were made fun of, called names, or insulted; 12% were the subject of rumors; 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on; and 5% were excluded from activities on purpose (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- A slightly higher portion of female than of male students report being bullied at school (23% vs. 19%). In contrast, a higher percentage of male than of female students report being physically bullied (6% vs. 4%) and threatened with harm (5% vs. 3%; (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- Bullied students reported that bullying occurred in the following places: the hallway or stairwell at school (42%), inside the classroom (34%), in the cafeteria (22%), outside on school grounds (19%), on the school bus (10%), and in the bathroom or locker room (9%) (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- 43% of bullied students report notifying an adult at school about the incident. Students who report higher rates of bullying victimization are more likely to report the bullying (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
- More than half of bullying situations (57%) stop when a peer intervenes on behalf of the student being bullied (Hawkins, Pepler, & Craig, 2001).
- School-based bullying prevention programs decrease bullying by up to 25% (McCallion & Feder, 2013).
- The reasons for being bullied reported most often by students include physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, sexual orientation (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).
Click here for more resources : http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/stats.asp
Prevention at School
Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.
Getting Started- Assess school prevention and intervention efforts around student behavior, including substance abuse and violence. You may be able to build upon them or integrate bullying prevention strategies. Many programs help address the same protective and risk factors that bullying programs do.
Build a Safe Environment- Establish a school culture of acceptance, tolerance and respect. Use staff meetings, assemblies, class and parent meetings, newsletters to families, the school website and the student handbook to establish a positive climate at school. Reinforce positive social interactions and inclusiveness.
Educate Students and School Staff -Build bullying prevention material into the curriculum and school activities. Train teachers and staff on the school’s rules and policies. Give them the skills to intervene consistently and appropriately.
Provided by The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
resource:stopbullying.gov
Bullying Solution-Confidence Building
PARENTING TIPS-Being the Example
When a child is confident they are much less likely to be a target for bullying. Sometimes, when our children come to us about an issue in school, as parents, we need to be their advocate and show them (not always tell them) what confidence looks like. They know that they have a situation and we represent them by going to the proper channels to find a solution (such as teachers, school administration or the other child's parents, if appropriate).
I personally was never an outward, overly confident, person or mother. It wasn't until my little one was getting tortured and bullied in school that I was forced to raise my voice. But once I did, trust me, when school associates saw me coming they were like "uh-oh" don't mess with that one! My daughter also saw that she was protected and more staff members were sure to be kinder and more supportive since I raised my voice to get help. In this situation, my daughter saw through my actions how to use the system and speak up until you get an answer that you feel comfortable with.
IT'S OKAY TO TELL!
Children should also be told that it is okay to tell even before anything happens. If we plant this seed very early on this little step can indirectly build their confidence. This simple knowledge gives them the power to share their feelings. The quicker they tell the better.
Here is a helpful link that includes some additional ideas for confidence building:
https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/12-ways-help-your-child-build-self-confidence
Strength in Numbers
When children stand up for one another when someone is being made fun of this cut the bullying out quicker than other methods. It also built a comradery among the children involved and a feeling of being safe. We can teach our children that it is okay to openly tell if they see someone being bullied or that they can speak up themselves. The more children who are openly against the bullying also helps the child who is bullying. They will become an outcast and will have to think about their behavior in order to be accepted among their peers.
Teaching our children to be kind
This is just simple. We want to build a better world for our children. Teaching them manners and kind ways to interact with others will eventually create a peaceful environment among all of us!
The Importance of Coming Together
Together, we can create a better world. Providing literature, tools, education, and support helps our children put a stop to bullying before it starts!
Help stop bullying before it starts!
Don't Blame Hazel is an award-winning children's bullying prevention book written by R.G. Frazia, the author of this post. Don't Blame Hazel! is available at all major book retailers.
Please visit www.rgfrazia.com for some great free resources that go along with the book.
Appropriate for children 4+
Click here to purchase your copy
Don't Blame Hazel is an award-winning children's bullying prevention book written by R.G. Frazia, the author of this post. Don't Blame Hazel! is available at all major book retailers.
Please visit www.rgfrazia.com for some great free resources that go along with the book.
Appropriate for children 4+
Click here to purchase your copy
Additional Resources
The Recovery Village Ridgefield
Social media has shined a light on bullying, but it has also given the practice some new venues for perpetrators to target their victims. This article from The Recovery Village Ridgefield explores the link between bullying and substance abuse in youth as well as providing guidance and resources for those struggling.
http://www.ridgefieldrecovery.com/drugs/related/bullying-and-drug-abuse/
PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/
Government Help Guide
http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/dealing-with-bullying.htm
Information on Cyberbullying
http://www.connectsafely.org/tips-to-help-stop-cyberbullying/
Outreach, Cyber Bullying, Teen Suicide, Megan Starr Foundation
http://www.megansstarrfoundation.co.uk/
*Bullying and Suicide-If you, or someone you know, feels suicidal, please
call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the U.S., or visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.
Social media has shined a light on bullying, but it has also given the practice some new venues for perpetrators to target their victims. This article from The Recovery Village Ridgefield explores the link between bullying and substance abuse in youth as well as providing guidance and resources for those struggling.
http://www.ridgefieldrecovery.com/drugs/related/bullying-and-drug-abuse/
PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/
Government Help Guide
http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/dealing-with-bullying.htm
Information on Cyberbullying
http://www.connectsafely.org/tips-to-help-stop-cyberbullying/
Outreach, Cyber Bullying, Teen Suicide, Megan Starr Foundation
http://www.megansstarrfoundation.co.uk/
*Bullying and Suicide-If you, or someone you know, feels suicidal, please
call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the U.S., or visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.